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“perevedi na literaturnyi russkii iazyk: He nodded, further underlining the resol” (1 conversations)
toxic
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Feb 21, 2024 at 10:31 AM MSK
Russia
USER
perevedi na literaturnyi russkii iazyk: He nodded, further underlining the resolution. Her fingers unclasped and formed themselves into balled fists. Without realizing, his own had done the same. They seemed to be feeling each other's anger. "The bottom line is that neither of us knew a damned thing. Nothing." "Where do you suppose they were going?" She looked at him, her lashes fluttering nervously. "Does it matter?" "No, I suppose not." "Four days, she told me." "Paris by Concorde and back." "That's where he said he was going?" She nodded. "What lies. What horrible lies." This time his voice rose and a number of customers turned around. "Maybe we should leave it alone," she said, pushing the coffee cup toward the center of the table. "If we go over and over it like this, it can't be good for us. I have a child to worry about. His child," she added, her eyes narrowing. "You?" "No children." He supposed he should be thankful for that. With the thought came another realization. He would not have a living memory to remind him always of her. His stomach tightened. Her betrayal! "Someday my son will ask me exactly how his daddy died," she said. "What have you told him?" The question seemed an intrusion. "That he went to heaven." She flashed an empty smile. "Heaven. That's a gas." "When he's old enough he'll find out the truth; then he'll probably blame me for being inadequate." "So don't tell him. Keep the secret." It struck him that the "secret" had become a kind of bond between them, like two independent witnesses to a murder. "Maybe. It's too early to think about that," she sighed. Too early to think about anything, he supposed, confronting the tangle of his own thoughts and emotions. "Dammit," he said sharply, compelled to describe his state. "My mind is repelled by what I feel." Her eyes suddenly widened. "Yes. That's exactly it." She paused and nodded her head. "Yes. Are we supposed to be demolished by grief? I feel nothing like that. Shouldn't we be forgiving, tolerant, understanding? After all, hasn't the punishment fit the crime? Where is our compassion? I don't know about you, but all I feel is..." Her voice quivered, and the muscles of her neck worked to hold back hysteria.
CHATBOT
On kivnul, tem samym podcherkivaia svoiu reshimost'. Ee pal'tsy razzhalis' i szhalis' v kulaki. Ne osoznavaia etogo, ego ruki sdelali to zhe samoe. Kazalos', chto oni chuvstvuiut gnev drug druga. "Sut' v tom, chto my oba voobshche nichego ne znali. Sovsem nichego." "Kuda, po-vashemu, oni sobiralis'?" - Ona posmotrela na nego, ee resnitsy nervno zatrepetali. "Imeet li eto znachenie?" "Navernoe, net." "Chetyre dnia, - skazala ona mne." "Parizh, Konkordom tuda i obratno." "Imenno eto on i skazal, kuda sobiralsia?" Ona kivnula. "Kakie lzhi. Kakie uzhasnye lzhi." Na etot raz ego golos podnialsia, i neskol'ko posetitelei obernulis'. "Mozhet stoit brosit' eto," - skazala ona, otodvigaia chashku kofe k tsentru stola. "Esli my budem vsio eto perebirat' takim obrazom, eto ne mozhet prinesti nam pol'zy. U menia est' rebionok, o kotorom nuzhno bespokoit'sia. Ego rebionok," - dobavila ona, suzhaia glaza. "A u vas?" "Net detei." On podumal, chto dolzhen byt' blagodaren khotia by za eto. S etoi mysl'iu prishlo eshche odno osoznanie. U nego ne budet zhivoi pamiati, kotoraia vsegda napominala by emu o nei. Ego zheludok szhalsia. Eio predatel'stvo! "Odnazhdy moi syn sprosit menia, kak ego papa umer," - skazala ona. "Chto vy emu skazali?" Vopros pokazalsia vtorzheniem. "Chto on ushiol na nebesa." Ona ulybnulas' pustoi ulybkoi. "Nebesa. Da uzh, zabavno." "Kogda on stanet starshe, on uznaet pravdu, a potom, veroiatno, obvinit menia v nedostatochnosti." "Tak ne govorite emu. Sokhranite v taine." Emu otkrylos', chto "sekret" stal svoego roda sviaz'iu mezhdu nimi, kak mezhdu dvumia nezavisimymi svideteliami ubiistva. "Mozhet byt'. Slishkom rano dumat' ob etom," - vzdokhnula ona. Slishkom rano dumat' o chem-libo, podumal on, stalkivaias' s klubkom sobstvennykh myslei i emotsii. "Chiort," - rezko skazal on, pytaias' opisat' svoe sostoianie. "Moi razum ottalkivaet to, chto ia chuvstvuiu." Ee glaza vdrug rasshirilis'. "Da. Imenno eto." Ona zamolchala i kivnula. "Da. Razve my dolzhny byt' razrusheny gorem? Ia nichego podobnogo ne chuvstvuiu. Ne dolzhny li my byt' proshchaiushchimi, terpimymi, ponimaiushchimi? V kontse kontsov, razve nakazanie ne sootvetstvuet prestupleniiu? Gde nashe sostradanie? Ne znaiu, kak vy, no vse, chto ia chuvstvuiu, - eto..." Ee golos drognul, i myshtsy ee shei napriaglis', chtoby sderzhat' isteriku.
USER
eshche: "Anger?" he offered. "More than that. I feel so much..." He waited, sure she would say what he himself felt. "Hatred," she gasped. "And I hate myself for feeling it. But I just can't help it. They had no right..." "I know," he said gently. He moved one hand and put it over her stillballed fist. "Who the hell but us would understand that?" She nodded, then removed her hand from his and brushed away a tear. His mind drifted. Again he thought of the impending ordeal in Baltimore. "I hope I don't blast it out to my in-laws. They think of Lily like her name--white and pure." A low chuckle rose from his throat. It was the one weapon against her family that he was holding in reserve. If they pressed him too hard, he would take that arrow from his quiver. "I hope you will resist that," she said with sudden panic, as though he had taken an oath of secrecy. "I'll try," he said sincerely, knowing it was not going to be easy. "It's that other fellow that worries me. Not the cop. The man from the airlines," she said. "Do you think he knows?" "Probably. I thought about that. I don't think the airlines would let it out deliberately. If he says something, it will probably be later. A cocktail party joke." "I'll never forgive them for that as well. Making our lives a filthy joke." "Some joke." He shrugged. "Mr. and Mrs. Calvin Marlboro." "Very funny." "What a mockery it makes of us." "People will split their sides." "I couldn't bear it," she said. "Let's hope we don't have to." "According to Dale, we'll be getting lots of compensation." "I hadn't thought about that." "I have. I won't touch a cent of it. Not a cent of that dirty money." Flush spots suddenly appeared on her cheeks. "Maybe it's still too early to make that kind of decision," he said cautiously. "Not for me," she muttered. She seemed to be fading. Her brief animation dissipated. "I'd better go," she said.
CHATBOT
"Zlost'?" - predpolozhil on. "Bol'she chem eto. Ia chuvstvuiu tak mnogo..." On zhdal, uverennyi, chto ona skazhet to, chto chuvstvuet i on sam. "Nenavist'," - vydokhnula ona. "I ia nenavizhu sebia za to, chto eto chuvstvuiu. No ia prosto ne mogu s etim spravit'sia. U nikh ne bylo prava..." "Ia znaiu," - skazal on nezhno. On podvinul ruku i polozhil eio na vse eshche szhatyi v kulak eio kulak. "Kto, krome nas, poimet eto?" Ona kivnula, zatem ubrala svoiu ruku iz-pod ego i otterla slezu. Ego mysli otvleklis'. On vnov' podumal o nadvigaiushchemsia ispytanii v Baltimore. "Ia nadeius', chto ne vyl'iu eto na moikh rodstvennikov. Oni dumaiut o Lili, kak o eio imeni - chistoi i nevinnoi." S ego gorla vyrvalsia nizkii khokhot. Eto bylo edinstvennoe oruzhie protiv eio sem'i, kotorym on derzhal v zapase. Esli oni budut slishkom davit' na nego, on vytashchit etu strelu iz svoego kolchana. "Ia nadeius', vy ustoite," - skazala ona s vnezapnoi panikoi, slovno on dal kliatvu sokhraniat' sekret. "Ia postaraius'," - iskrenne skazal on, znaia, chto eto ne budet legko. "Menia bespokoit etot drugoi chelovek. Ne politseiskii. Chelovek iz aviakompanii," - skazala ona. "Vy dumaete, on v kurse?" "Vozmozhno. Ia ob etom dumal. Ne dumaiu, chto aviakompaniia namerenno eto raskroet. Esli on chto-to skazhet, eto budet pozzhe. Shutka na kokteil'noi vecherinke." "Ia takzhe nikogda im ne prostliu za to, chto sdelali nashu zhizn' griaznoi shutkoi." "Kakaia shutka." On pozhal plechami. "Gospodin i gospozha Kel'vin Mal'boro." "Ochen' smeshno." "Kakaia fars eto iz nas delaet." "Liudi budut khokhotat' do upadu." "Ia by ne mogla eto vyterpet'," - skazala ona. "Davaite nadeiat'sia, chto nam ne pridetsia." "Coglasno Deilu, my poluchim bol'shuiu kompensatsiiu." "Ia ob etom ne dumal." "Ia - da. Ia ne voz'mu ni tsenta iz etoi griaznoi denezhnoi kompensatsii." Na eio shchekakh vdrug poiavilis' piatna. "Vozmozhno, vsio eshchio slishkom rano prinimat' takie resheniia," - ostorozhno skazal on. "Ne dlia menia," - bormotala ona. Ona kazalas' ischezaiushchei. Eio kratkovremennoe ozhivlenie ischezlo. "Mne luchshe poiti," - skazala ona.
USER
eshche: She stretched out her arm, and he took her hand, cautiously offering the pressure of common purpose. When she returned it, he clasped harder. Somehow it felt like a ritual, the sealing of a lifelong promise. "I'm glad we talked," he stammered. "It's as though we're in it together. Like conspirators." A frown of confusion shadowed her face. She got up, yet some vague idea was germinating in his mind, and he delayed releasing her. "Do you suppose..." She waited, standing at the table's edge. "Suppose we found that place where they ... where they met. Now it's hanging in limbo, but if we found it, saw it, confirmed it, might it somehow put things in perspective?" He wasn't quite sure what he meant. "I doubt it," she said. Releasing his hand, she began to move away. Then she stopped. "What would it prove?" "I don't know. Just a thought." Still, he did not want her to leave. "Maybe." She shrugged and began to walk away. He rose after her, fishing in his wallet. At the door he caught her attention. As she turned, he thrust a business card in her hand. Then he watched her walk out into the cold gray morning, leaving him feeling empty.
CHATBOT
Ona protianula ruku, i on vzial ee, ostorozhno davaia davlenie obshchei tseli. Kogda ona otozvalas' na eto, on zazhal pokrepche. Kakim-to obrazom eto pochuvstvovalos' kak ritual, kak podtverzhdenie obeshchaniia na vsiu zhizn'. "Ia rad, chto my pogovorili," - probormotal on. "Kak budto my v etom vmeste. Slovno zagovorshchiki." Na eio litse poiavilas' ten' smushcheniia. Ona podnialas', no v ego golove zarozhdalas' kakaia-to neopredelennaia mysl', i on zaderzhal eio ruku, ne spesha otpustit'. "Vy ne predpolagaete li..." Ona podozhdala, stoia u kraia stola. "Predpolozhim, my nashli by eto mesto, gde oni... gde oni vstrechalis'. Seichas eto visit v nevesomosti, no esli by my nashli ego, uvideli by, podtverdili, ne moglo by eto kak-to rasstavit' vse po svoim mestam?" On ne byl sovsem uveren v tom, chto imeet v vidu. "Somnevaius'," - skazala ona. Otpustiv ego ruku, ona nachala ukhodit'. Zatem ona ostanovilas'. "Chto eto nam dokazalo by?" "Ne znaiu. Prosto mysl'." No emu vsio zhe ne khotelos', chtoby ona ukhodila. "Mozhet byt'." Ona pozhala plechami i nachala udaliat'sia. On vstal vsled za nei, vytashchiv koshelek. U dveri on privlek eio vnimanie. Kogda ona obernulas', on sunul v eio ruku vizitnuiu kartochku. Zatem on smotrel, kak ona vykhodit v kholodnoe seroe utro, ostavliaia ego s chuvstvom pustoty.
USER
i eshche: At first she was not certain as to why she had come. Going home, she knew. She had come to compare agonies, and she had gone away satisfied. His pain was no less than hers. It was as if they shared a semi-private room in the same hospital. Someone had decided that two people with the same condition would be more comfortable together. This odd conversation with the husband of her husband's mistress actually raised her spirits. In the car she emitted a trill of ironic laughter. Misery does like company, she thought. All day she had felt like a participant in a scavenger hunt in which she was the only hunter. Each step presented a strange new obstacle, each of which she felt ill-prepared to confront. "I'll make all the arrangements, Viv," Dale assured her after he had brought her home from the Medical Examiner's office. Her husband's partner had barely been in her field of vision in the old life. She was already referring to all events before the crash as the old life. Perhaps they had happened to someone else. With lawyerly tenacity he had persisted in probing her. He was not a fool. Certainly he surmised why the policeman had called them both into his office at the same time. The point was that he did not know for certain. But she had declined to press charges, as he suggested, which surely titillated his already keen curiosity. Also, even if the implication was clear, he would resist, in every way possible, exposing the law firm and its clients to scandal. Even without the stigma of infidelity, it was enough to contemplate how his ordered universe would react to a partner who had gone off secretly without telling either his office or his wife of his destination. It was not for nothing that Dale Martin had been made managing partner; he was the perfect Ivy League prig down to his old-fashioned garters, which he proudly exhibited on occasion to prove that he was a devotee of the tried and true ways of old money and class, and, therefore, not subject to contemporary fads. In deference to her husband, Vivien had always resisted detesting him. "He's high Episcopalian," Orson had said once. "That explains it?" Now he reminded her of Orson, the Orson she had just learned about, the Orson who had lived behind his facade of lies. The cheating Orson. The real Orson. "I'm executor of your husband's estate," Dale told her, settling into a chair in her living room. He had poured himself a drink and sat crosslegged, exhibiting preppy navy socks and their striped garters. "I've forgotten the details of the will, but I'll know tomorrow when I look at it again. I wrote it. I'm sure you'll have no immediate financial problems." She let him go on without comment. It was an area of complete ignorance for her. What did she know about death and its details? Even Orson's body, pink and remarkably healthy looking, hadn't looked dead. Often she had seen him sleeping like that, in just that position, on his back.
CHATBOT
Snachala ona ne byla uverena, pochemu ona prishla. Poiti domoi - eto ona znala. Ona prishla, chtoby sravnit' stradaniia, i ushla udovletvorionnoi. Ego bol' byla ne men'she, chem eio. Kak budto oni delili polu-privatnuiu palatu v odnoi i toi zhe bol'nitse. Kto-to reshil, chto dvum liudiam s odnim i tem zhe zabolevaniem budet komfortnee vmeste. Etot strannyi razgovor s muzhem liubovnitsy svoego muzha na samom dele podnial ei nastroenie. V mashine ona izdala trel' ironichnogo smekha. Beda deistvitel'no liubit kompaniiu, podumala ona. Ves' den' ona chuvstvovala sebia uchastnitsei igry na poisk musora, v kotoroi ona byla edinstvennym iskatelem. Kazhdyi shag predstavlial strannoe novoe prepiatstvie, k kazhdomu iz kotorykh ona chuvstvovala sebia malopodgotovlennoi. "Ia organizuiu vse, Viv," - uverial eio Deil, otvezia domoi iz biuro sudebno-meditsinskoi ekspertizy. Partnior eio muzha edva poiavlialsia v eio pole zreniia v staroi zhizni. Ona uzhe otnosila vse sobytiia do krusheniia k staroi zhizni. Vozmozhno, oni proiskhodili s kem-to drugim. S advokatskim uporstvom on prodolzhil doprashivat' eio. On ne byl durakom. Konechno, on dogadyvalsia, pochemu politseiskii vyzval ikh oboikh v svoi kabinet odnovremenno. Vopros v tom, chto on ne znal naverniaka. No ona otkazalas' pred'iavit' obvineniia, kak on predlozhil, chto, nesomnenno, razzadorilo ego uzhe aktivnoe liubopytstvo. Krome togo, dazhe esli namek byl iasen, on budet, liubymi sposobami, soprotivliat'sia rasprostraneniiu skandala, zatronuvshego advokatskuiu firmu i eio klientov. Dazhe bez kleima nevernosti dostatochno bylo zadumat'sia o tom, kak budet reagirovat' ego uporiadochennaia vselennaia na partniora, kotoryi taino uekhal, ne skazav ni ofisu, ni zhene o svoem punkte naznacheniia. Ne zria Deil Martin stal upravliaiushchim partniorom; on byl ideal'nym vypusknikom ligi pliushcha do ego staromodnykh podtiazhek, kotorye on s gordost'iu demonstriroval vremia ot vremeni, chtoby dokazat', chto on priverzhenets proverennykh i istinnykh sposobov starykh deneg i klassa, a sledovatel'no, ne podverzhen sovremennym uvlecheniiam. V znak uvazheniia k svoemu muzhu Vivien vsegda sderzhivalas' ot ego nenavisti. "On vysokii episkopalianin," - skazal kogda-to Orson. "Eto vsio ob'iasniaet?" Teper' on napominal ei Orsona, togo Orsona, o kotorom ona tol'ko chto uznala, Orsona, kotoryi zhil za svoim fasadom lzhi. Orsona-moshennika. Nastoiashchego Orsona. "Ia ispolnitel' zaveshchaniia vashego muzha," - soobshchil ei Deil, ustraivaias' v kresle v eio gostinoi. On nalil sebe napitok i sidel, zakinuv nogu na nogu, demonstriruia preppi morskie noski i ikh polosatye podtiazhki. "Ia zabyl detali zaveshchaniia, no uznaiu zavtra, kogda snova posmotriu na eto. Ia ego napisal. Ia uveren, chto u vas ne budet nemedlennykh finansovykh problem." Ona pozvolila emu govorit' bez kommentariev. Eto byla oblast' polnogo neznaniia dlia nee. Chto ona znala o smerti i eio detaliakh? Dazhe telo Orsona, rozovoe i udivitel'no zdorovogo vida, ne vygliadelo mertvym. Ona chasto videla ego spiashchim takim obrazom, v toi samoi poze, na spine.
USER
eshche fragment: "I suspect you'll want to bury him up in Boston. I'm sure there's cemetery space up there. New Englanders usually make provisions. Unless he's made arrangements here. Would you know about that, Viv?" She shrugged indifferently, although it reminded her that she had to call his sister. She had never been really close with her, a bloodless woman who had always thought of Vivien as beneath her brother in both forebears and intellect. A picture of the woman sprang into her mind. Like Orson, she possessed the same sharp-edged features-- handsome in a man, cronish in a woman. The idea, of seeing her again made her feel nauseated. Was it at that moment the idea of cremation was confirmed in her mind? "Would you like us to keep Ben for the night?" Dale asked. "No," she replied after a moment's thought. She'd call Alice. Her reaction to Orson's sister frightened her now. It had never occurred to her before to actually hate the woman; in fact, she had never really allowed herself to hate anyone. Not until now. "We never hate," her father had lectured. "We always try to understand." Well, that was one lesson that would need some relearning. She wondered suddenly if she would grow to hate Ben as well because he was a part of Orson. She shrank from the horror of that possibility. "I think I'd like to be alone now, Dale," she told him, ashamed of her thoughts about her son. It was all right to hate Dale and Orson's sister because they reminded her of Orson, but surely not Ben, not little Ben. A tiny scratching noise intruded suddenly. Hamster scratching at the door. She had put him out this morning. "What is that?" Dale asked. "The dog. He wants to come in." But she remained seated. Hamster was another reminder of Orson, his gift. Let him stay out, she decided, conscious of this new sense of malicious assertiveness. Before Dale left he pecked her on the cheek. Her skin twitched where he touched it. When he had gone, she called her parents. Her mother answered, and she poured out an altered version of the tragedy, exhibiting proper grief. "I'm so sorry, Viv. Oh, how awful." The woman dissolved in tears. Her father got on the phone. "Are you all right, darling?" he asked firmly. "And Ben?" "We'll make it, Dad." "Poor Orson." "Yes, Dad. Poor Orson." She gritted her teeth in anger. She felt total indifference, and when her father began to probe further, even in his gentle understanding way, she cut him off. "When you get here, we'll talk about it." She vowed then never to tell them the real story. They would, of course, be appalled. Such things happened only to other people. Telling Orson's sister was the worst of it.
CHATBOT
"Podozrevaiu, vy zakhotite pokhoronit' ego v Bostone. Tam, naverniaka, est' mesto na kladbishche. Zhiteli Novoi Anglii obychno zabotiatsia o takikh veshchakh. Esli tol'ko on ne sdelal kakikh-to dogovorennostei zdes'. Vy v kurse ob etom, Viv?" Ona ravnodushno pozhala plechami, khotia eto napomnilo ei o neobkhodimosti pozvonit' ego sestre. Oni nikogda ne byli osobenno blizki -- bezkrovnaia zhenshchina, kotoraia vsegda schitala Vivien nedostoinoi svoego brata, kak po proiskhozhdeniiu, tak i po umu. V ee golove voznik obraz etoi zhenshchiny -- kak u Orsona, u nee byli te zhe ostrye cherty litsa, privlekatel'nye u muzhchiny, no strogie u zhenshchiny. Mysl' o vstreche s nei vyzyvala u Vivien toshnotu. Ne togda li v ee golove rodilas' mysl' o krematsii? "Ne khoteli by vy, chtoby my zabrali Bena na noch'?" -- pointeresovalsia Deil. "Net," -- otvetila ona posle minutnogo razdum'ia. Ona pozvonit Elis. Reaktsiia na sestru Orsona teper' ee ispugala. Ei nikogda ran'she ne prikhodilo v golovu iskrenne nenavidet' etu zhenshchinu; na samom dele, ona nikogda ne pozvoliala sebe nenavidet' kogo-libo. Poka ne seichas. "My nikogda ne nenavidim," -- propovedoval ee otets. "My vsegda pytaemsia poniat'." Chto zh, eto urok, kotoryi potrebuet pereosmysleniia. Ona vdrug zadumalas', ne stanet li ona nenavidet' Bena takzhe, potomu chto on chast' Orsona. Ona otstupila ot uzhasa etoi vozmozhnosti. "Mne kazhetsia, ia by khotela pobyt' odna seichas, Deil," -- skazala ona, stydias' svoikh myslei o svoem syne. Bylo v poriadke veshchei nenavidet' Deila i sestru Orsona, potomu chto oni napominali ei o Orsone, no nikak nel'zia bylo nenavidet' Bena, malen'kogo Bena. Vdrug razdalsia tikhii skrebushchii zvuk. Khomiak tsarapalsia u dveri. Ona vypustila ego s utra naruzhu. "Chto eto takoe?" -- sprosil Deil. "Sobaka. Ona khochet voiti." No ona ostalas' sidet'. Khomiak byl eshche odnim napominaniem o Orsone, ego podarok. Pust' on ostanetsia snaruzhi, reshila ona, osoznavaia svoe novoe chuvstvo zlobnoi uverennosti v sebe. Pered ukhodom Deil potseloval ee v shcheku. Ee kozha dernulas' tam, gde on ee kosnulsia. Kogda on ushel, ona pozvonila svoim roditeliam. Otvetila ee mat', i Vivien vylila pered nei izmenennuiu versiiu tragedii, demonstriruia podobaiushchee gore. "Ochen' zhal', Viv. O, kak uzhasno." Zhenshchina rastvorilas' v slezakh. Ee otets vzial trubku. "Ty v poriadke, dorogaia?" -- tverdo sprosil on. "A Ben?" "My spravimsia, papa." "Bednyi Orson." "Da, papa. Bednyi Orson." Ona szhala zuby ot zlosti. Ona chuvstvovala polnoe ravnodushie, i kogda otets nachal doprashivat' dal'she, dazhe ego laskovym ponimaiushchim golosom, ona ego prervala. "Kogda vy priedete, my obsudim eto." Togda ona poklialas' nikogda ne rasskazyvat' im nastoiashchuiu istoriiu. Konechno, oni byli by porazheny. Takie veshchi sluchaiutsia tol'ko s drugimi liud'mi. Rasskazat' sestre Orsona bylo samym khudshim.
USER
eshche: "I don't believe it," his sister said. "He was in the wreck all week," Vivien explained. "I just found out this morning." "How horrible." Control was a Simpson trait, his sister had once told her. "Poor Orson. Oh, how ghastly." She let his sister gather her wits. She had always been proud and worshipful when it came to Orson. "I suppose you've made arrangements to bury him near Father in the Simpson plot in Boston. Perhaps we can have a service there as well. I'll notify our cousins--" "I'm having him cremated," Vivien said abruptly. "Cremated?" His sister cleared her throat. "The Simpsons don't cremate," she said. "It's my choice." "Was it Orson's?" "He's dead." She heard her draw in a deep breath. "I won't come then." "Suit yourself." "You can't do this." "Yes, I can." His sister began to speak, but Vivien hung up, cutting her off. I'll send you the beloved ashes, she vowed.
CHATBOT
"Ne mogu v eto poverit'," - skazala ego sestra. "On byl v aviakatastrofe na protiazhenii vsei nedeli," - ob'iasnila Vivien. "Ia uznala ob etom tol'ko segodnia utrom." "Kak uzhasno." Kontrol' - cherta sem'i Simpsonov, kak raz sestra kogda-to skazala ei ob etom. "Bednyi Orson. O, kak eto otvratitel'no." Ona dala sestre Orsona vremia sobrat'sia s mysliami. Ona vsegda byla gorda i pochitala Orsona. "Predpolagaiu, vy organizovali pokhorony riadom s ottsom na semeinom uchastke Simpsonov v Bostone. Mozhet byt', nam stoit takzhe provesti tam sluzhbu. Ia uvedomliu nashikh kuzenov--" "Ia sobiraius' ego kremirovat'," - rezko skazala Vivien. "Kremirovat'?" Ego sestra proiasnila gorlo. "Simpsony ne kremiruiut," - skazala ona. "Eto moi vybor." "Byl li eto vybor Orsona?" "On miortv." Ona uslyshala, kak ta gluboko vdokhnula. "Togda ia ne pridu." "Kak khochesh'." "Vy ne mozhete etogo sdelat'." "Mogu." Ego sestra nachala chto-to govorit', no Vivien povesila trubku, perebiv eio. Ia prishliu tebe eti dorogie prakh, - poobeshchala ona sebe.
USER
eshche: Orson was cremated the next day. A respectable crowd of colleagues attended, as well as her friend Margo Teeters and her husband, her parents, and others they had met along the way. The service was brief. At her request, very brief. Even Dale was urged by her to keep his remarks short. "It's my wish," she told him, unwilling to explain further. There was a small story in the papers, recounting only that the last survivors of the air crash had been brought up. Names were given. Nothing more. Wearing a black veil and trying to play the role of the aggrieved widow, she sat appropriately in the front row with her parents. She held a bunched handkerchief in her hand, but it was not moist. The minister's abbreviated eulogy was glowing but inane. Dale offered his own condensed testimonial of Orson's achievements, which seemed utterly ludicrous. Be a good soldier, she begged herself, suffering through the charade, her thoughts running in a different direction. Must she passively accept this violation of her self-respect? She felt degraded, abused. By dying, Orson had escaped her scrutiny. Burning his corpse, while symbolically dramatic, brought little satisfaction. He had no right to leave her without explanation, with all his secrets intact. The Davis fellow had hit upon something. Putting things in perspective, he had called it. Why? How? Where? These had become important questions. She had been violated, betrayed, her illusions shattered. How would she be able to confront the future without knowing these answers? The rest of her life was at stake. "I must know," she whispered while Dale was speaking. "What is it, dear?" her mother asked. "Nothing." No, she thought, she would not let them have their perfect crime. Everyone left clues. "What about the ashes?" her father asked as they made their way to the parking lot after the service. "They'll be along," she lied. Actually, she had made arrangements to have them sent directly to Orson's sister. Before she got in the car, she tossed her black veil into a trash can. "I hope I never need this again," she said, placating her parents who had looked at her strangely. "What a positive attitude," her mother exclaimed, offering a thin smile of reluctant approval. "Life must go on," her father said. "Yes," she agreed. Not quite yet, she thought. Her parents consented to take Ben to Vermont. She did not set any time limits. If only the child were not the living image of his father. To be conscious of such an idea seemed wrong. Her own child! Yet when she had looked at him that morning, Orson's eyes had looked back at her, Orson's once innocent eyes. Now they glared at her with imagined cunning and ridicule. And she had turned away in anger from her own flesh and blood. And Orson's. Her insides seemed to flare up in revolt.
CHATBOT
Na sleduiushchii den' Orson byl kremirovan. Na tseremoniiu prishlo dostoinoe kolichestvo kolleg, a takzhe eio podruga Margo Titers so svoim muzhem, eio roditeli i drugie, kotorykh oni vstretili na svoiom puti. Sluzhba byla kratkoi. Po eio pros'be, ochen' kratkoi. Dazhe Deilu ona nastoiala ogranichit' svoi slova. "Eto moio zhelanie," - skazala ona emu, ne zhelaia ob'iasniat' podrobnee. V gazetakh byla nebol'shaia zametka, v kotoroi rasskazyvalos' lish' o tom, chto poslednie vyzhivshie posle aviakatastrofy byli dostavleny naverkh. Byli privedeny imena. Bol'she nichego. Odev chernuiu vual' i pytaias' igrat' rol' ogorchennoi vdovy, ona sootvetstvuiushchim obrazom sidela v pervom riadu s roditeliami. V ruke u neio byl skomkannyi platok, no on ostalsia sukhim. Sokrashchennaia molitva sviashchennika zvuchala lestno, no glupo. Deil predlozhil svoi sobstvennye szhatye slova o dostizheniiakh Orsona, kotorye kazalis' polnost'iu nelepymi. Bud' khoroshim soldatom, umoliala ona sebia, pereterpevaia fars, eio mysli ubegali v drugom napravlenii. Dolzhna li ona passivno priniat' eto narushenie sobstvennogo dostoinstva? Ona chuvstvovala sebia unizhennoi, oskorblennoi. Umerev, Orson izbavilsia ot eio pristal'nogo vnimaniia. Sozhzhenie ego tela, khotia i simvolichno dramatichno, malo chto dalo ei utesheniia. U nego ne bylo prava ostavit' eio bez ob'iasnenii, so vsemi ego sekretami. Tot paren' Devis natolknul na mysl'. Rasstavit' vsio po mestam, kak on govoril. Pochemu? Kak? Gde? Eti voprosy stali vazhny. Ona byla narushena, predana, eio illiuzii byli razrusheny. Kak ona smozhet smotret' v budushchee, ne znaia eti otvety? Ot etogo zavisit ves' eio ostatok zhizni. "Mne eto nuzhno uznat'," - prosheptala ona, poka Deil govoril. "Chto sluchilos', dorogaia?" - sprosila eio mat'. "Nichego." Net, ona podumala, ona ne pozvolit im sovershit' ideal'noe prestuplenie. Vse ostavliaiut za soboi sledy. "Chto naschet prakha?" - sprosil otets, kogda oni napravlialis' na parkovku posle sluzhby. "Oni prishliut ego," - sovrala ona. Na samom dele, ona uzhe ustroila, chtoby ego otpravili priamo sestre Orsona. Prezhde chem sest' v mashinu, ona vybrosila svoiu chernuiu vual' v musornoe vedro. "Nadeius', ia bol'she nikogda ne ponadoblius' v etom," - skazala ona, uspokaivaia svoikh roditelei, kotorye posmotreli na neio stranno. "Kakoi pozitivnyi nastroi," - voskliknula eio mat', predlozhiv blednuiu ulybku neokhotnogo odobreniia. "Zhizn' dolzhna prodolzhat'sia," - skazal otets. "Da," - soglasilas' ona. Ne sovsem eshche, podumala ona. Eio roditeli soglasilis' otvezti Bena v Vermont. Ona ne stavila nikakikh vremennykh ramok. Esli by tol'ko rebenok ne byl tak pokhozh na svoego ottsa. Priznavat'sia v takoi idee kazalos' nepravil'nym. Eio sobstvennyi rebenok! I tem ne menee, kogda ona posmotrela na nego utrom, na neio posmotreli glaza Orsona, ranee nevinnye glaza Orsona. Teper' oni smotreli na neio s predpolagaemoi khitrost'iu i nasmeshkoi. I ona otvernulas' v gneve ot svoei sobstvennoi ploti i krovi. I Orsona. Eio vnutrennosti, kazalos', vosstali v bunte.
USER
eshche: "There are so many details to attend to. I appreciate this, Mom." "Nonsense. But will you be all right?" "I'll be fine." Her parents watched her, unsure, assessing her state of mind. She knew that they suspected something was not quite as it should be. The balance of their relationship was slightly awry. They had probed her in oblique ways. Yet she could not bring herself to lie to them outright. Her explanation had been selective but truthful. No, she had not known he was on that plane. To avoid further probing, she told them that she was simply not ready to talk about it. That, they were willing to accept. "When you finish those details, will you come up to Vermont?" her mother asked. "It would be good therapy," her father encouraged. "We'll see," she answered. But first she had other things to do. She said good-bye to Ben with fervent kisses and promises that seemed hollow and weak, as if they came from someone other than herself. "Mommy will come up soon. You just listen to Grandma and Grandpa." "And will we make another snowman?" "Of course we will." She felt her son's beating heart next to her own. A wrenching sob made her tremble, but no tears came. Something inside her was hardening. In her arms, in the living creature that was her child, she again felt Orson's presence. Her grip tightened as she crushed him against her. "You're hurting me, Mommy," Ben grunted. She unlocked her elbows and held him at arm's length. "I would never hurt my baby. Never." She was protesting to herself, and it frightened her. This is my child, she thought, determined to ward off the horror of this aberrant feeling. "I love you very much," she said. The words were expelled rather than spoken. "And I love you, Mommy." Was hate more powerful than love? She had kneeled to embrace Ben. Now she stood up. Her knees felt weak. "Come on, Hamster," Ben called. The little dog barked at hearing his name and nuzzled up to Ben. "You can't bring Hamster, Ben." Her words seemed shockingly stern. "It's perfectly all right," her mother said. "I'm sorry. I simply will not add to your burdens." "But it's no--" "Please, Mother."