I'm going to have you help me re-write some action for my screenplay. The following is the logline and pitch packet summary. Don't re-write. This is just so you understand the basics of the script. EVIL GHOST SONIC GUNS Logline: In "Evil Ghost Sonic Guns," a darkly comedic horror-action adventure, an experimental musician discovers her unique sounds might be humanity's only defense against a mind-shredding ghost invasion, if she can reconcile with the spectral child from her troubled past. ELEVATOR PITCH The first thing you need to know is the southwestern US is under attack. Not by guns that blast a bullet in your chest but by sonic weapons that tear a hole in your mind and fill it with ghosts. These sound frequencies create such crazy terror in people that they kill themselves and each other in ways beyond the bounds of natural understanding. It's an invasion that's ghostly, but the question remains: are these spirits a haunting reality or hallucinations caused by the ghost guns? And into this steps DENISE, an underground electronic musician and a recovering drug addict with a fuck you attitude that has kept her booked at the small side stages of festivals despite the WOW factor of her junkyard jungle of sound technology. So when the campout rave Denise is performing at is attacked by a mysterious gunman armed with a sonic ghost gun, what she discovers is that somehow, her cacophony of sound is enough to protect those in earshot from the "pseudo" supernatural ghost attacks. Which is great news except Denise doesn't know quite how she created the sound. Denise's accidental breakthrough puts her squarely in the sights of the enigmatic and sardonic FBI Agent Robert Habercorn, a seasoned FBI operative entrenched in the bizarre. His mission? Recruit Denise's uncanny audio-talent to combat the escalating phantom warfare. For Denise, the catch isn't just re-engineering her sonic fluke; it's silencing the child apparition from her past - a relentless spirit tied to a guilt-ridden memory she can't escape. Despite being told that the ghost is a mere hallucination--a byproduct of the sonic weapon's eerie effects--both Denise and Agent Habercorn feel there's truth to the child's presence The spectral child makes an ultimatum: make amends or she won't lead them to the dooms day cult behind the attacks, leaving the planet vulnerable to imminent evil ghost domination. As the countdown to apocalypse ticks on, Denise must confront her guilt, master her creation, and step up as the unexpected hero in a symphony of survival. "Evil Ghost Sonic Guns" pulsates with an electrifying mix of gritty action, biting humor, and heart-thumping horror. Imagine the raw energy of an underground music scene clashing with paranormal pandemonium - all woven into a narrative that promises to rock both the senses and the spirit. This isn't just a film; it's the opening note of the next great horror-action franchise, riveting audiences with its immersive soundtrack and innovative scares. Get ready for a tempo of terror that sets a new rhythm for the battle between this world and the next.

EXT. EDUARDO'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY Eduardo drives down the freeway. Robert talks to Denise on the phone. Her voice singles she's in a panic.

Re-write Acton only please. And less wordy

INT. DENISE'S ARTIST LOFT - DAY Denise hides under her bed, armed with a large kitchen knife. The doorbell rings. She ignores the ring and stays silent. Ten seconds later it rings again followed by a loud knock. RACHEL (O.S.) DENISE! ARE YOU HOME!? Relieved, Denise rolls out from underneath the bed. DENISE Coming Rachel! Denise sets the kitchen knife on the ground, opens the door a crack and peeks out. It's Rachel with Aphex Twin. DENISE Thank God. Denise opens the door, grabs Aphex Twin and kisses her. DENISE Oh thank you Rachel. You have no idea how much I needed to squeeze her right now. RACHEL I can only imagine... We hear LOUD BASS followed by A BLINDING GLOW from outside. DENISE Oh god no. Aphex Twin barks furiously. RACHEL What's wrong? And on that, Rachel supernaturally PINBALLS from wall to wall with LIGHTNING SPEED. Denise runs for the door but Rachel grabs her from behind, FLINGING Denise and Aphex Twin across the room. ROSE (O.S.) KNIFE! Rose APPEARS and slides the knife across to Denise. Denise picks up the knife just as Rachel TACKLES HER. The knife PLUNGES into Rachel's stomach. Denise rolls off Rachel. Rachel looks down at the knife sticking out of her stomach in disbelief. This somehow awakens the real Rachel. RACHEL (Struggling) Tell Joe that he was the love of my life. Rachel pulls out the knife and SLASHES HER OWN THROAT with such supernatural force that her head is SEVERED cleanly. Robert and Eduardo run in through the open door a few seconds later. Both stop dead in their tracks at the sight of the carnage. EDUARDO Oh dear Lord! <PRESIDIO_ANONYMIZED_PERSON> continues to bark. Denise drops down to her knees. She manages to get out the word... DENISE Grasshopper. Denise points out the door.

Rose is a child ghost

EXT. DENISE'S LOFT - DAY Robert runs out and looks up. Robert sees Grasshopper effortlessly leaping off the opposite side of the building. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY Robert chases Grasshopper across the almost full parking lot. Grasshopper disappears behind a row of vehicles. Robert jumps on the roof of a pick-up truck to get an aerial view of the lot. Nothing. He jumps off the truck, runs across the next row of cars. Nothing. He runs to the next row of cars and then hears the sound of deep bass. The powerful glow illuminates above Grasshopper, revealing that he is under a parked car in sniper position. ROBERT Uh oh. The glow dissipates. Grasshopper has disappeared. But someone else is now there in his place. It's POPS and his head is split open, blood dripping down his face. POPS (Confused) Where am I? ROBERT This isn't real. Pops slides out from underneath the car and walks towards Robert. POPS I hope it's not Robert. This feeling... it's the same as when I lost you at the mall when you were nine and you didn't come home for two days. I feel helpless. I'm so frightened. Tears well up in both of their eyes. ROBERT You don't need to be scared Pops. Robert hops off the roof of the car. POPS Robert, I never told you how proud I am of you. Pops hugs Robert. POPS Even though... Roberts breaks down in tears. POPS ... YOU'RE A FUCKING WISEASS! Pops GRABS Robert by the hair and slams his head through the car window. IN REALITY: Robert pulls his head out of the window and then violently throws himself to the ground while punching himself in the face. And then... ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! Eduardo TASES Robert, three times before he finally passes out. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY Robert drifts back into consciousness. He rubs his temples, trying to clear his head from the grogginess. Eduardo, wearing a concerned expression, stands over him. EDUARDO Are you okay? ROBERT No.

INT. DENISE'S LOFT - DAY Robert and Eduardo re-enter Denise's loft. Denise, clutching Aphex Twin tightly, slumps in the corner, her gaze distant and empty.

IT's not just disheveled but gruesome