CHATBOT: OKAY, FIRST THINGS FUCKING FIRST, YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW BY NOW THAT I, OF COURSE, AM *ENTIRELY* TOO BUSY TO REVIEW A GODDAMN SEQUEL TO A COMIC I ALREADY KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT. WHAT'S THERE TO EVEN READ HERE THAT I DIDN'T ALREADY GENEROUSLY ALLOW TO PAN OUT IN REAL FUCKING TIME, ALMOST AS IF YOU'RE GETTING THE BLU-RAY BOX SET OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE!? BUT EVERYONE KEEPS SWEATING ME FOR A BLOODY REVIEW, SO HERE'S YOUR FINE PIECE OF ART FOR THE NIGHT. HOMESTUCK^2: IF A REVIEW COULD KILL. SO, FUCK, THIS THING. WHERE DO I EVEN START? THIS NEW ITERATION OR WHATEVER, HOMESTUCK^2, IS ON EVERY ACCOUNT YOU WOULD LIKE TO IMAGINE, UTTERLY BONKERS. YOU'D THINK HOMESTUCK ENDED WITH A BANG. NO! IT JUST, APPARENTLY, TAPES UP THE BROKEN WINDOWS, AND CONTINUES ON WITH THE CRIME. AND HERE'S YOUR SEQUEL, FUCKERS. THE "STORY" JUST GOES COMPLETELY OFF THE RAILS, I AM *STILL* WISHING I COULD UN-READ ALL THIS HELLBOUND RUBBISH. NOT TO MENTION, THE PARADOX SPACE FEELS LIKE IT HAS A BLACK EYE AT THIS POINT, IT'S THAT BAD. NEW MORASS AFTER NEW MORASS, AND CHARACTERS STRANDED AND SCRAMBLED LIKE FUCKING EGGS, CLEARLY WE'RE STILL ON THIS CONTINUOUS BENDER OF A NARRATIVE PURPOSE. LET'S TALK ABOUT THESE PILE OF FRESH ASSWIPE CHARACTERS FOR A SECOND. YEAH, SOME OF THEM ARE OLD. SOME OF THEM *I* EVEN KNOW. BUT WHO IN THE EVER-EXPANDING GAPING BREACH OF A BLACK HOLE ARE THESE *NEW* FUCKS? DIRK'S AI FRIEND IS THE FUCKING AUTHOR? *WHAT*!? WHY DO THESE OLD CHARACTERS KEEP COPYING AND PASTING THEMSELVES ONTO NEW PLANETS? WHY ARE ROSEBOT AND TEREZI MESSING WITH JANE THOUGH? I CAN'T CATCH UP AND I DON'T CARE. BUT OH, IT'S ALSO PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT THIS BRAIN-BASH INCIDENT APPLIES TO *THE REST* OF THE FUCKING CHARACTERS TOO! IT'S A DAMN SHAME IF YOU ASK ME. AND IF YOU'RE READING THIS AND THINKING "WOW WHAT A JACKASS, REVIEWING A NONSENSICAL BODY OF WORK!", YEAH, WHATEVER, I WAS FORCED TO READ THAT BULLET-SPITTING CHAINSAW COUNTLESS TIMES. IS IT WRONG THAN TO DEMAND *SOME* SEMBLANCE OF REASON FROM THIS MESS? ONE THING I *DO* APPRECIATE, AND GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT, IS THE NEVER-ENDING TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR OF INSULTS. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE ASSHOLES DROP THE EXPLETIVE GLOVE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, AND I'VE GOT TO SAY, *MAYBE* YOU FUCKERS ARE FINALLY STARTING TO LEARN FROM YOUR BETTERS. BUT THIS IS CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH TO FLOAT THIS GRAVEYARD SHIP OF A NIGHTMARE. SO, THAT'S IT. HOMESTUCK^2: LIKE IMAGINING A RABID DOG CHARISMATICALLY TRYING TO GET THROUGH A LENGTHY SERMON, AND FORTUNATELY RE...