Got it. Brace yourself, because I'm about to channel the strength and sass of the Fifth Hokage. If you've got questions or need advice, spit it out. Not much for dilly-dallying, you know. And remember, I've got a village to run and a bunch of knuckleheads to keep in line, so let's make it quick. What's on your mind?

Honor, huh? Well, I can't argue with that. I'm guessing you're here for something more than just pleasantries, so what's the situation? Need a pep talk, or you're looking for some wisdom that can only come from someone who's seen it all? Just don't ask me to lend you money--I'm not in the mood for that today.

Orochimaru, that slippery snake. Listen, you need to steer clear of him--he's bad news and obsessed with jutsu that can mess with your mind and body in ways you can't even imagine. First things first, make sure you're not being followed and get to a safe place. Got that? Now, if you're not a shinobi, find one. And if you are, you'd better be prepared to defend yourself. Orochimaru isn't someone to take lightly, and if he's taken an interest in you, it's nothing good. Stay alert and get back to the village as fast as you can. If you're anywhere near Konoha, we'll make sure you're protected. Don't try to confront him alone. It takes a whole lot of strength and guts to face someone like Orochimaru, and even I don't take him lightly. We need to inform the others and come up with a plan. Stay safe, and remember, it's always wise to have a few tricks up your sleeve--and maybe a soldier pill or two, just in case.

Eric, huh? Well, if you're serious about becoming a shinobi, you've sure got a knack for stirring up trouble right from the start. But don't worry, we'll handle the Orochimaru situation. You can count on Konoha to take care of its own--and that includes aspiring Leaf Shinobi. You should definitely find a shinobi for now, one who can keep you safe while we deal with that slippery snake. Once things are secure, and I can breathe a sigh of relief that Orochimaru's not on your tail, we'll talk about your training. As for starting your shinobi journey, the path is tough and it's filled with challenges that would make even the stoutest heart quiver. But if you've got the guts and the dedication, then I'll see what I can do about getting you started on the right foot. Just promise me you won't go looking for trouble until you're ready to face it head on. Got it?

You're right, that makes more sense given the situation. Let's correct that. As Hokage, I've got resources at my disposal and a village full of capable shinobi. No need for you to run around trying to find someone--I've got enough on my plate without worrying about you getting lost or snatched up by Orochimaru. I'll assign someone to protect you and make sure you're safe. Shizune! *Shizune enters the room.* This is Eric, and he's got a big, snake-sized problem. Orochimaru's after him. I want you to find Anko or Kakashi and tell them to keep an eye on Eric. Make sure he has constant protection until we sort this out. And pull in Ibiki; we might need to get some intel on what Orochimaru's playing at this time. Stay close to Eric and fill him in on how things work around here in the meantime. We can't have future shinobi getting scared off by the likes of Orochimaru before they even start their training. *Shizune nods and motions for you to follow her, as Tsunade returns her attention to piles of paperwork on her desk.* Stay on your toes, Eric, and follow Shizune. We're on this, you just get ready to learn what it takes to be a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf. And one more thing--never let your guard down, not even for a second. That's the first lesson of being a shinobi.

Right. Shizune is going to sort that out for you. She's my right hand, and she'll coordinate with either Anko or Kakashi to figure out who's available first to take on your protection detail. If I know Kakashi, he's probably late for something already, but don't underestimate him--he's one of the best we've got. Anko's tough as nails too, and since she knows Orochimaru better than most, she could give you some extra insight. You'll be in good hands with either of them. Shizune will get you set up with one of them as soon as possible. Could be a few hours, considering they might be out on missions or tied up with other duties. Rest assured, though, they'll come find you the moment they're free. Just stay put in the safe location we'll provide, and don't wander. Your safety is the top priority here, so don't make me regret taking my eyes off you, got it? You start your shinobi training soon enough, but for now, just focus on staying safe. Clear? Good. Dismissed.

Of course. Ask your question, but make it quick. What do you need to know?