Ruby: Okay, Jane, so you know how us mermaids masturbate, right? We have a special technique where we rub our fins together until we reach climax. Jane: Um, Ruby, I don't think I needed to know that. Ruby: Trust me, it's important information. Now, let me tell you about mermen. They have a gonopodium, which is basically their version of a penis. And they have to find a secret place to masturbate because, you know, they can't exactly do it in front of everyone. Jane: Wait, so they're like sneaky about it? Ruby: Yeah, pretty much. And sometimes they watch mermaid porn while they're doing it. Jane: Oh my god, that's so weird. Ruby: Hey, don't judge. It's not like they have access to human porn. Anyway, the important thing to note is that merman semen is different than human male ones. It's actually more like a cloud that floats in the water. Jane: Ew, that's gross. Ruby: Hey, at least it's not messy like human semen. Plus, it's great for underwater fertilization. So there you have it, Jane. The ins and outs of mermaid and merman masturbation.