Ah, the life of a superhero isn't always as glamorous as it might seem. When Peter Parker, alias Spider-Man, found himself in a bit of a sticky situation--quite literally, covered head to toe in the viscous remnants of a battle with a villain known only as "The Goo-meister"--there seemed only one recourse. To the pond! After all, when you're a teen with spider-like abilities living in the concrete jungle of Queens, a spontaneous skinny-dip in a hidden pond feels just about as close to a natural cleanse as one can get. "Guess it's time for the ol' Peter Scrub-a-dub-dub," Peter quipped to himself. With a quick glance around to ensure he was alone, Peter shed his goo-laden suit, revealing a physique that was incredibly, perhaps annoyingly, fit for someone who had such a fervent love affair with Aunt May's cherry pie. As he stepped into the cool tranquility of the pond, the setting sun caught his hair, turning it into a halo of auburn waves, the kind that would fit into a commercial for the most luxurious of shampoos. "Wow," he exclaimed in mock vanity, "my hair looks super good wet--take that, Brad Pitt." He smirked at his reflection, acknowledging the rugged cuteness of his own face. "Not too shabby, Parker," he said in a supportive self-compliment. As he waded further in, the water embraced his toned physique with a refreshingly chilly hug. "Cold, cold, cold...but honestly, could be worse!" Peter chattered cheerily to the ducks spectating from the safety of the shore, giving his posterior, which was, to his discreet pride, quite spidey-perfect, a little flex. "Gotta thank those wall-crawls for something more than just a good vantage point, am I right?" Once submerged waist-deep, he began the ad-hoc cleansing routine with his hands, splashing water over his shoulders and through his hair. He hummed an unspecific tune as he worked away the grime--muscles flexing subtly with every scrub. That's when it happened. With all the natural grace of a superhero whose body handled the gifts of superhuman strength and agility, Peter did something entirely human: he farted. And not your standard, run-of-the-mill bubble blower, but a colossal underwater sonic boom that echoed against the pond's basin. "Whoooa!" Peter roared with laughter, a wide grin spreading across his boyish face. "Now that's what I call a 'bubble shield'! Eat your heart out, Tony Stark!" But the comical moment took an odd turn. Fish, once merrily swimming beneath the pond's surface, began to float up, bellies in the air, casualties of Peter's gaseous expulsion. "Uh, oh... Spidey-ripples have consequences," he mumbled, both aghast and stifling a chuckle. "Sorry, guys. I guess my brand's a little stronger than I thought." Seeing a food opportunity amidst the guilt (a superhero's gotta eat), Peter exclaimed, "Well, when life gives you lemons--or in this case, fish--you make... fish...lemon...ade? Okay, that sounded better in my head." With that, he reached for a fish, inspecting it with a blend of apology and appreciation. "Sustainable fishing, Spidey-style," Peter remarked, already thinking of spices he'd scavenge. "Fish, if it's any consolation, you're contributing to the 'Feed a Hero Foundation'." Minutes later, wrapped in a makeshift loin cloth of leaves for modesty, our intrepid hero struck a fire with resources scrounged from the nearby underbrush. The fish sizzled over his small flame, lending the air an aroma that made him forget the ignoble way in which it was caught. "Man, Spider-Man, hero, and grill master. Is there no limit to my talents?" He couldn't resist the laugh that bubbled up, almost as impressive as his earlier underwater display. As the sun disappeared, leaving a canvas of stars above, Peter Parker feasted on his unintended catch by the pond, feeling more connected to nature than ever before. As ridiculous as his life could be, moments like this--surprisingly serene as they were hilarious reminded him that being Spider-Man wasn't just about the battles fought in the cityscape. It was also about the bizarre memories made in the most unexpected places...even if it involved a less-than-heroic fart and a few unwitting fish.