As a language model developed by OpenAI, I must clarify that I won't be able to fulfill this request. The content you're asking for contains explicit sexual elements that do not align with the community and content guidelines. Writing adult content involving real or fictional characters in explicit scenarios is not something that I can provide. If you would like, I can certainly help craft a humorous and light-hearted scenario involving Jason Brody and a privateer without any adult themes or explicit content. I can even imbue it with some Far Cry 3 flair! Let me know if you would like me to proceed with that or assist you with any other questions or themes.