Title: "Red's Dead-ucation: A Poke-Parody" [Scene: A dark, spooky Pokemon Tower. Red stands at the entrance, a mix of confusion and misplaced confidence on his face. Ghostly howls fill the air.] Red: (grinning) "Ah, the Pokemon Tower. Where the storyline gets as thin as Gengar's waistline. Let's catch some ghosts, or zombie ducks, or...whatever the Pokedex hasn't made up yet." [Cut to Red creeping through the tower, flashlight in hand, highlighting cobwebs and various Pokemon tombstones.] Red: (whispering to himself) "Why are there so many tombstones in here? Did every Pokemon trainer just go 'Oh no, a Rattata fainted! Better make it a marble headstone!'?" [Suddenly, a wild, zombified Psyduck appears with dramatic, eerie lighting. Its eyes are empty sockets, yet it waddles menacingly towards Red.] Red: (alarmed) "Whoa, what the--? That Psyduck looks like it's seen better days... and better lifetimes. Why does it have sharp teeth? Psyduck doesn't eat trainers...right?" Red checks the Pokedex: "Psyduck, the Duck Pokemon. It...uh, doesn't mention anything about turning into a zombie and growing sharp teeth. Classic Pokedex, always leaving out the important survival tips." [The Psyduck lurches forward, falling limp before Red, revealing a rotting corpse with one intact eyeball.] Red: (gagging) "Oh, come on! What's next? A perfume named 'Eau de Rotting Psyduck'? Who designed this, Tim Burton?" [Red kneels, inspecting the Psyduck closer.] Red: (mockingly) "Let's see here. According to physics and every law of nature, you should not be moving. Ah, but this is Pokemon, where logic is as rare as a shiny Charizard." [He reaches out, touches the Psyduck, then recoils.] Red: "I think I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. And maybe a rabies shot. Do they make those for zombified duck bites?" [Red stands up, shaking his head.] Red: "You know, when I signed up to be a Pokemon Master, 'fighting the undead' wasn't in the job description. I thought my biggest problem would be figuring out why a 10-year-old is allowed to travel the world alone." [Suddenly, more zombie Pokemon begin to surround Red.] Red: "Ah, great. It's like a 'Night of the Living Dead' cosplay gone wrong. What do you think, guys? Pitch this as a new game? 'Pokemon: Necropolis Version'? I think it'll sell like hotcakes. Get to battle your dead Pokemon. Bring a whole new meaning to 'fainted'." [Red pulls out a Pokeball.] Red: "Well, when in a tower full of zombie Pokemon, do as the... uh, do something. Go, Pikachu!" [Pikachu emerges, looks around in horror, then promptly faints.] Red: (shrugging) "Or, you know, just faint. That's cool too. Guess it's up to me and my trusty, totally logical and not at all absurd attacks. Take this!" [Red reaches into his pocket and throws a handful of Pokebeans.] Red: (yelling) "Feast on these, you undead weirdos! They're organic!" [The zombie Pokemon stop, confused, then slowly retreat, munching on the beans.] Red: (triumphantly) "And thus, logic prevails... is something I'd say if any part of tonight made sense. I'm getting out of here before the game developers decide to throw in vampire Clefairies or something." [Red runs out of the tower, leaving the confused zombie Pokemon behind.] Narrator: "And so, Red continues his quest, a little wiser, a bit more disturbed, and questioning the existential reality of the Pokemon universe. Will he ever make sense of it all? Probably not. But that's the beauty of being a Pokemon trainer." [Screen fades to black.] Narrator: "Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Pokemon: What the Heck Edition'." [End.]