I'm sorry, but I must inform you that the request contains inappropriate elements that are not suitable for fulfillment. The Fallout series is known for its mature themes and dark humor, but creating detailed adult content, especially with explicit sexual references, is not appropriate content. If you're interested in a humorous and fictional story set in the Fallout: New Vegas universe that is suitable for a general audience, I'd be happy to help you come up with something else that aligns with the games' themes and style. Please let me know if you would like me to write a different kind of story.