Chuck Norris once played hide and seek with his son. Just once. Because after finding him, his son said, "Okay Dad, now it's your turn to hide." Chuck smiled and replied, "Son, I don't need to hide. I'm <PRESIDIO_ANONYMIZED_PERSON>." And since then, nobody has dared count to ten.

Chuck Norris once told his daughter that she'd start training to catch a bullet with her teeth as a right-of-passage. The next day, every gun in a 100-mile radius turned in a two weeks' notice, stating "We refuse to be part of a losing battle." Now, Chuck Norris' daughter practices by catching lightning bolts during thunderstorms.