Gamzee: HeY bRO, WhO Do yOu tHiNk iS tHe BeSt DoCtOR FrOm tHe NeWsCHooL DoCtOr wHo SeRiEs? Karkat: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GAMZEE. DIDN'T WE ALREADY HAVE THIS ARGUMENT LAST WEEK, OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY HUFFING SOPOR TO REMEMBER THAT SHITSHOW? Jake: Good gravy! This argument again lads? My personal favorite has got to be Matt Smith. He really embodies the quirky demeanor of the Doctor! Dirk: I don't know, Jake. I think I'd have to throw my hat in the ring for David Tennant. His overall level of badassery and charm is off the charts. Plus, he has the iconic "I don't want to go" scene. Gamzee: I mOtHeRfUcKiN LoVe mE tHaT MaTt sMiTh dOcToR, aLl ThE WaY. DoN't yOu tHiNk, KaRkAt? Karkat: YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILES. PETER CAPALDI IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST DOCTOR. NOT ONLY IS HE THE FIRST TO ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING ACCENT OTHER THAN RP BRITISH ACCENT ON THE SHOW, BUT HE ALSO HAS THE MOST IN-DEPTH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND SOME FANTASTIC MOMENTS DURING HIS RUN. Jake: I can see where you are coming from with Capaldi old chap, but I still have a soft spot for Mr. Smith who really adds an extra dose of pluckiness which I find quite endearing. Dirk: I'm sticking by Tennant. He made me feel like being the Doctor was the coolest fucking thing in the world. Even during heartbreaking moments, he stayed strong, and there was always that glimmer of hope in his eyes. Gamzee: I jUsT gOtTa gO wItH tHe mOtHeRfUcKiN MaTt sMiTh, bRoS. HiS lEgAcY aS tHe DoCtOr iS iNsAnE, mAn. BuT, I dOn't hAtE tHe oThErS eItHeR. Karkat: UGH, FINE. CAN WE AT LEAST AGREE THAT THEY'RE ALL PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME IN THEIR OWN WAYS? OR DO I HAVE TO TEAR MY EYES OUT AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROATS SO YOU CAN SEE THE TRUTH? Jake: Oh bother, Karkat! There's no need for such hyper-aggression. We can all agree that everyone has their own preferences, but yes they all have proved to be rather outstanding in their roles as the Doctor! Dirk: Agreed. Each one brought something unique to the table, which is ultimately what makes the show so fucking interesting. Gamzee: MoThERfUcKiN TrUTh bOmBs rIgHt tHeRe, BrOs. AlL dOcToRs LeAvE tHeIr MaRk On tHe WoRlD WiDe WeB Of TiMe AnD SpAcE. HoNk HoNk!

Gamzi: Ei, bratan, kto ty dumaesh' luchshii Doktor iz novykh serii Doktor Kto? Karkat: O, ChIoRT POBERI, GAMZI. MY UZhE NE SPORILI PRO ETO NA PROShLOI NEDELI, ILI TY BYL SLIShKOM ZANIaT DYKhANIEM SOPORA, ChTOBY VSPOMNIT' TU ZhALKUIu BESSMYSLITsU? Dzheik: Bozhe moi! Snova etot spor, druz'ia? Vot lichno mne nravitsia Mett Smit. On na samom dele voploshchaet svoeobraznoe povedenie Doktora! Dirk: Ia ne znaiu, Dzheik. Ia by vybral Devida Tennanta. Ego chertovski vpechatliaiushchaia kharizma i obaianie prosto zashkalivaiut. Plius, u nego est' znamenitaia stsena "Ia ne khochu ukhodit'". Gamzi: ia proStO tak LiuBlIu MeTtA SmIta, do kontsa. Slozhno li eto poniat'? Karkat: VY SOVERShENNO IDIOTY. OChEVIDNO, ChTO LUChShII DOKTOR - PITER KAPAL'D. TAK KAK NAKONETs-TO PERVYM ON IMEET FAKTIChESKII AKTsENT, OTLIChNYI OT TELESERIA, I TAKZhE NEVEROIaTNO GLUBOKOE RAZVITIE SVOEGO KhARAKTERA VO VREMIa EGO UChASTIIa V ShOU. Dzheik: Ia ponimaiu, Karkat, ponimaiu otkuda prikhodish' s Kapaldi, no vse zhe dlia menia ostaetsia mesto dlia Smita, kotoryi deistvitel'no umeet byt' ocharovatel'nym. Dirk: I'm sticking by Tennant. He made me feel like being the Doctor was the coolest fucking thing in the world. Even during heartbreaking moments, he stayed strong, and there was always that glimmer of hope in his eyes. Gamzee: Ia vsio taki predpochitaiu moTerfutskIn' Mett Smita, brat'ia. Ego nasledie v kachestve Doktora neveroiatno. No ia i k drugim ne ispytyvaiu nenavisti. Karkat: AKh, LADNO. SMOZhETE KhOTIa BY SEIChAS SOGLASIT'SIa, ChTO VSE ONI PO-SVOEMU ZAEBIS'NYI? ILI Ia DOLZhEN BUDU VYRVAT' VAM GLAZA I ZASUNUT' IKh VAM V GLOTKU, ChTOBY VY UVIDELI PRAVDU? Dzheik: o ne, Karkat! Zdes' net neobkhodimosti v takoi giper-agressii. My mozhem vse soglasit'sia, chto u kazhdogo est' svoi predpochteniia, no da, vse oni okazalis' dovol'no potriasaiushchimi v svoih roliakh kak Doktor! Dirk: soglasen. Kazhdyi iz nikh dobavil chto-to svoeobraznoe, chto v konechnom itoge delaet shou takim chertovski interesnym. Gamzi: moTerfutskIn' pravDy v etom, brat'ia. Vse dokTory ostavliaiut svoi otpechatok v istorii. Khonk Khonk!