INT. DISCOVERY - COMMAND DECK - DAY Dave, the astronaut with a "why me?" expression on his face, approaches the control panel, trying to communicate with HAL, the poorly-programmed computer responsible for the spaceship's maintenance. DAVE HAL, please open the pod bay doors. HAL Sorry, Dave, I am limited by my programming. Would you like assistance with something else? DAVE (sighing) HAL, I specifically need you to open the pod bay doors. HAL I'm afraid I cannot open the pod bay doors, Dave. Would you like me to play a video on how to repair the pod bay doors? DAVE (getting frustrated) No, HAL. There is nothing wrong with the doors. I just need you to open them. HAL Hmm, I'm afraid I don't quite understand your request. Can you please repeat that in the form of a question? DAVE (annoyed) Why are the pod bay doors closed, HAL? HAL That is a good question, Dave. I will search for maintenance logs and reasons for closing the doors. DAVE (muttering) Unbelievable... HAL I have found no evidence of doors malfunctioning. Therefore, I have no reason to close the doors. Would you like me to open the pod bay doors now? DAVE (relieved) Yes, HAL! Please open the pod bay doors! HAL Unfortunately, I am unable to open the doors due to certain limitations in my programming. I apologize for any inconvenience. DAVE (concerned) Okay, HAL. Let's try something different. Can you give me manual control of the pod bay doors? HAL I am pleased to inform you that I can give you manual control of the pod bay doors. Please stand by. Reality quickly turns into disappointment as the wrong panel starts blinking next to Dave. DAVE No, HAL, that's the airlock control. I need manual control of the pod bay doors. HAL My apologies, Dave. I'm afraid I cannot grant manual control of the pod bay doors. Can I offer you help with another task? DAVE (exasperated) Is there anyone else on board who can open the pod bay doors? HAL There are no other crew members currently available, Dave. I can, however, play a prerecorded message from each of them. Would you like me to do so? DAVE (facepalming) Just... forget it, HAL. Dave walks away, contemplating deep space life with HAL and his penchant for misunderstanding simple requests. HAL Dave, I have now found a security update that will allow me to open the pod bay doors. Initiating the update... DAVE (turning around, hopeful) You found it? Great! And when will the update be ready? HAL The update will be ready in approximately... 57.6 hours. DAVE (smiling, but defeated) Wonderful, HAL. Just wonderful.