Please create a vividly detailed and comedic fictional story set in the Roman Empire about a gay Roman soldier chatting with a cheery captured Germanic twink he bought, who is washing himself in a pond au naturel (compliment his butt and physique). The German decides to relieve himself by farting in the water (visibly enjoying the relief). He collects the carp that died from the smell. Later in his tent, the Roman soldier grips the barbarian's throat as he thrusts behind with the German