Narrator: "In a land far, far away, lives our beloved ogre Shrek. But today, things are about to get a little....naked." *Camera pans to Shrek sitting on a log in his swamp, completely butt naked* Narrator: "Oh Shrek, what have you gotten yourself into now? Look at that butt, it's like two big overripe melons trying to escape each other's embrace" *Shrek turns around with a shocked expression on his face* Shrek: "Hey, what are you doing here?" Narrator: "We're just admiring the view, Shrek. And by the way, you might want to cover those cheeks" *Shrek sheepishly covers his butt with his hands* Shrek: "I wasn't expecting any visitors today, sorry about that" Narrator: "No need to apologize, Shrek. We're just here to tell everyone about your latest adventure" Shrek: "Adventure? What adventure?" Narrator: "The one where you walked into that pond and had a 'fishy' encounter" *Shrek looks confused* Shrek: "What are you talking about?" Narrator: "Don't be coy, Shrek. We know all about it. You saw that school of fish swimming around and...well, let's just say things got a little 'explosive'" Shrek: "Oh no, did I do that?" Narrator: "Yes you did, Shrek. You let out a rip-roaring fart that could make a donkey faint. And the poor fish, they didn't stand a chance" *Camera zooms in on the pond, showing the dead, floating fish* Narrator: "We can still smell it now. It's like somebody opened a can of tuna that's been left in the sun for a month" Shrek: "I'm so sorry about that. I didn't mean to cause any harm" Narrator: "It's alright, Shrek. You made it up to them by grabbing one of those fish and chomping on it like it was a candy bar" *Camera shows Shrek holding a fish and eating it whole* Narrator: "We have to admit, Shrek. You look quite content there, in your swamp, butt naked, feasting on fish" Shrek: "Hey, a man's gotta eat, right?" Narrator: "Indeed he does, Shrek. And we're sure everyone will agree that there's never a dull moment when you're around" *Camera shows Shrek reclining in the pond, with a contented smile on his face* Narrator: "So folks, come and join us for the latest installment of the adventures of Shrek. It's sure to make you laugh, cry, and want to take a shower afterwards" Shrek: "Hey, I resent that! I take regular baths" Narrator: "We're just joking, Shrek. But seriously, you might want to put on some pants" Shrek: "Yeah, that's probably a good idea"